Escape Room Reviews

Escape Room reviews do not give me enough details-they're always like "I had so much fun! Yadda yadda yadda" without any substance, so I'm starting my own. 

Best Types of Escape Rooms

I used to think lock-based escape rooms were the problem, but the locks aren't the problem-it's the linear story lines associated with the locks. The best escape rooms are ones where you can solve multiple puzzles at once not knowing where they lead.

Sherlock Holmes: Bombs Away at Escape Room Live in Alexandria, VA

This was my very first escape room I've done, and it remains my favorite. Is it because of cognitive bias or the reasons below? To get out, you have to solve not one but three end puzzles. Additionally, my favorite type of puzzle is word puzzles, and this room fit the bill. I couldn't embed it for whatever reason, but Javin B's Yelp review describes the room well (the only good detailed review I could find of all the rooms in this article by the way-well minus the next one on my list which has a thousand reviews because they solicit them and because people have a lot of complaints but more on that later). I also did this room with a bigger group of friends, which definitely contributes to my fond memory of it, but even with a big group of friends, I still had something to do.

I went back to Escape Room Live Alexandria to do The Wizard's Apothecary room and did not enjoy it as much. I was put with a group of girls, the only escape room on this list that pairs you with strangers by the way, who struggled with the most basic puzzles. It has a lower difficulty than the Sherlock Holmes: Bombs Away room and only has vague reviews from families, which I'm starting to think means it's a bad room because if it's made for families, then it is very simple. 

All In Adventures in Roanoke, VA

When I applied to work here and did a test run, I was very judgemental because it was only the second room I had ever done and it failed in comparison to Sherlock Holmes: Bombs Away, but after experiencing more escape rooms, these honestly aren't bad at all. 

All In Adventures is a franchise, so if you're looking for an immersive experience, you won't find it here. You will be put in one singular rectangle room decorated with wallpaper and minimal props. They are gradually replacing old story lines to make the rooms more interactive, but for the most part, All In Adventures is a lock-based experience with paper laminated clues. I get it-this looks very cheap, and the CEO realized it, which is why newer story lines are more immersive, but the rooms are fun because the puzzles make sense and incorporate a lot of the room and props. You are given exactly what you need, and you don't need to go hunting for it, which makes it a perfect experience for a two-person group. Maybe it's my propensity for word puzzles, but the rooms require more mental than physical work, which makes me enjoy them. 

The Wizard's Castle at Gnome & Raven in Richmond, VA

This is the second escape room I've done outside of All In Adventures and the first of highly rated escape rooms in a string since that I have hated. 

The first red flag I now know is the word "family" appears twice on their home page. I went with my little cousins so it was fitting at the time, but I would not return for my own adult self-enjoyment.

If All In Adventures is lacking in immersion, then Gnome & Raven is teeming with it. These rooms are huge and contain rooms within rooms. This is a problem when you only have 60 minutes to explore, and the primary thing you are doing is hunting for items and unlocking chests. Yes, despite feeling like you are in a castle, you are still just opening locks to complete this room. It was very much "find this," open this," which is very linear so if you get stuck on one clue, you can't move on without one of unlimited hints, which I'm also starting to realize is a red flag: I should be able to figure the room out on my own minus one or two hints.

 The Lost Temple at Escape FLA in Largo, FL

Honestly, this could have been a good escape room, but I can't remember because we spent 20 minutes on an impossible physical puzzle that has been etched into my mind now, which means we couldn't do anything else so this room was also linear as fuck. Reviews also mention "family friendly." We had to use so many hints to escape in time.

Inksidious at Escape Room 66 in Los Angeles, CA

I planned to do research before doing a escape room in LA but with all the city has to offer, I forgot, so I settled on Escape Room 66 for my sister and I's last hours in LA after a quick search due to their high ratings, locality, and award nominations. Getting there was an escape room in itself. I had to call to figure out the entrance. A very friendly worker told us the code to open the large wooden gate leading to the office building. Upon arriving, we learned of the friendly worker's name, Tuesday. I am not sure if that is her real name, but she was so nice, which made me feel bad for my moping in the escape room (more on that later). She gave us a key to the bathroom in a separate office in the building and gave us free key pens for following the business on Instagram. Despite her kindness, I was immediately disappointed as soon as I entered the escape room because of all the locks I saw and the super small space we were in. For $50/person, I thought I would be getting a better experience than that! Because I changed my opinion on locks in escape rooms after All In Adventures, I stopped using that as a search metric to filter out escape rooms, which I'm realizing now is a mistake. To add insult the injury, the story line was very linear despite Tuesday's response at the end after overhearing me moping about it during the room. 

I was upset because there was nothing for me to do. If my sister was figuring out a clue I was stuck on, I had nothing to do. If we were stuck on a clue, there was nothing to do besides ask for a hint.

I eventually perked up when we opened a second bigger room, which I didn't know was going to happen! If I knew we had a whole other room to solve, I would've had a more positive attitude and tried harder in the first half to have more time in the second half. The second half was better in that it was less linear, and there was one overarching puzzle we had to solve, but I wish I had more time to explore it myself. Instead, we relied on Tuesday's unlimited hints to escape in time. My sister enjoyed the story line and set design. Ambiance is not as important to me. I think I would have enjoyed the experience more if we got to the second half quicker and had more people to help us with the first half to get there.

Conclusion

I am still very confused on what an escape room needs to satisfy me, but I do know I must re-add the keyword "lock" in my search of reviews along with the words, "family" and "linear" now and sort by lowest review first just like in Goodreads because I can't trust any of these basic ass reviews from the general public who aren't wont to puzzles.

Men (6 Truths About Men)

1. Are pedophiles

I once had a man tell me he liked that I looked twelve.

2. “can’t” cook

The fast food industry thrives on single men.

3. Are secretly gay

They prefer the company of other men or young girls, as previously mentioned.

4. Have an addiction  

Gambling, sports, alcohol, video games, weed, meat, sex, etc.

5. Are incompetent

They can’t do anything on their own. 

6. Are constantly contradicting themselves

Nothing they say is true, which is why we have the saying, "Actions speak louder than words."

 

"Not all men but somehow always a man"

2022-2024 U.S. City Rankings (Southeastern United States & California)

With COVID restrictions lifted and a stable job finally at my helm, I started traveling again: first locally in Virginia, then to further destinations like California and Florida. Here’s how these different cities or areas rank.

1. Roanoke, Virginia

Home is where the heart is. Roanoke is the perfect combination of big time city and small town feel. Although my religious beliefs do not align with those who live here, I can’t say that I’m bored in this city.

2. NOVA/DC 

I don’t want to live in NOVA, but I always have a good time when I return. There’s always something new to try, and I’m never disappointed by the vegan food at Loving Hut. I also really enjoyed my biscuit sandwiches from Preservation Biscuit Company and the Oreo cupcake at the Bakeshop next door during my most recent trip to Falls Church. Each individual city in NOVA is a vacation on its own.

3. Blacksburg, Virginia

As a UVA grad, this is heresy to say, but Blacksburg is a much more enjoyable city to visit as an adult than Charlottesville is. The drive on 81 is scenic, and once you’re in the city, you don’t have to deal with the traffic that Charlottesville has. Located less than an hour from Roanoke, Blacksburg fills in what Roanoke is missing: a tried and true boba shop (Kung Fu Tea), a larger international market (Oasis), authentic Chinese food (Spicity), and an eyebrow threader that doesn’t have bad reviews (Best Eyebrows Threading).

4. Charlotte, North Carolina

I went to Charlotte for a Jesse McCartney concert at The Fillmore, and it was a very easy experience. I thought parking and the post-concert traffic would be a pain, but I easily found parking next to the venue at VBGB Beer Hall and Garden. The signs say you have to make a purchase to get your parking validated, but I walked around the restaurant and stumbled upon the QR code to validate my parking without buying anything. I was able to freely use their bathroom and read my book in my car while waiting for the concert to start. After the concert, I waited for traffic to die down before leaving, and it did not take long at all-10 minutes max-and when I left, it was a straight shot to my Airbnb: I dealt with absolutely no traffic. The highway to Charlotte is a different story, but getting around the city was very easy. I went to Ma Ma Wok for delicious vegan friend rice and BBQ drumsticks and Oh My Soul for an expensive but hydrating Guava Push. Ma Ma Wok had a parking lot, but Oh My Soul had very accessible and plenty of street parking in the quaint NoDa neighborhood, which I was able to walk around while waiting for Oh My Soul to open for dinner. 

Fun Fact: My first time in Charlotte was a field trip to Carowinds where I didn’t ride any rides and sat with my middle school teachers the entire day because I had no friends!

5. Bethesda, Maryland

You could technically put Bethesda in the NOVA/DC category, but I wanted to shout it out because unlike all the other DMV cities, I had never been here before. I love walking around the Bethesda Row area and parking has never been an issue for me despite the lack of lots.

6. Greensboro, North Carolina

Greensboro would be higher on this list if Boba House, a vegan restaurant, hadn’t shut down. The pho at BaoBao Kitchen, despite having the same chef, just doesn’t hit the same, and while the vegan ribs banh mi is really good, it’s not enough for me to drive two hours for, but in combination with the Cinnaholic, it could be. Greensboro also has the next closest Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods after Charlottesville. It also has plenty of bubble tea options like Moshi Moshi.

7. Harrisonburg, Virginia

Despite UVA being bigger than JMU, Harrisonburg is yet another college town that ranks higher than Charlottesville on this list simply because of its unexpected Asian vegan options. First, you have Vietopia, which I’ve been going to since my Duke Bowl days. They have a flavorful hu tieu chay broth, while Charlottesville still doesn’t have a Vietnamese restaurant. Next, you have Boboko, which is an Indonesian restaurant that is now unfortunately closed. You can’t even find an Indonesian restaurant in NOVA. Lastly, you have Mashita, a Korean restaurant with an entire separate vegan menu. The Korean restaurants in NOVA don’t even do that. Right next to Mashita is Aristocat Cafe, a cat cafe offering a wide selection of delicious teas. Charlottesville doesn’t have a cat cafe! Bonus: Even the Jonas Brothers have been to Harrisonburg, performing at JMU for College Gameday in 2024.

8. San Diego, California

San Diego is kind of an outlier on this list in that I don’t really have strong opinions about this city other than that its Downtown is the whitest place I’ve ever visited-that is until I realized Roanoke is pretty white too. I’ve enjoyed my time here but don’t really long for it. I would definitely revisit family but wouldn’t go here on my own volition unless it was to Donna Jean for vegan pizza.

9. Pinellas County, Florida

I can see why people retire in Florida: winter does not exist here. I enjoyed shopping at Countryside Mall and eating at Lotus Vegan restaurant, but I hated the roads getting there. In Florida, if you make one wrong turn, whether it be a late or early turn, the only way back is a u-turn. Because there are beaches in Florida, I can’t say these areas are just roads like in Houston, but I did spend a lot of time driving around trying to get to places I wanted to go.

10a. San Francisco, California

San Francisco is a nice walkable city with many pretty sights, but the vegan food here was sooooooo mid to me. It is also a very white and white-adjacent (Asian) city devoid of any culture.

10b. Richmond, Virginia

All of the same problems I had with Richmond when I lived there still exist: it’s a big sprawling city with lack of public transportation from and to the suburbs, and there’s nothing to do in the suburbs. The food options are good, but is it really worth it to drive 20 minutes for a meal for one? If we could combine the walkability of San Francisco and the vegan food of Richmond, then we’d have the perfect city.

11. Charlottesville, Virginia

What is there to do here besides attend the University of Virginia? I hate Emmett 29-it’s so wide and congested, and the vegan options are so lacking for a big college town. I loved the vegan charcuterie at Botanical Fare, but it is no longer on the menu. Harrisonburg is the better stopping point for NOVA road trips and Greensboro the better Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods option.

12. Raleigh, North Carolina

Raleigh has four lane roads that lead to nowhere and a good vegan restaurant, The Fiction Kitchen, located in a very empty downtown.

13. Chesapeake, Virginia

Last and very least, the #1 reason why I wanted to make this list, is Chesapeake, Virginia. There’s nothing in Chesapeake except the promise of Virginia Beach, and I’ve had better frozen foods than the one restaurant I tried in Chesapeake.

Can anyone make a good bowl anymore? The decline of the American fast casual restaurant

First, it was Chipotle, then it was a local bowl place. Next, a smaller, more local chain. Will my beloved Cava face the same fate? Can sweetgreen save them all or will fast casual salad and grain bowl restaurants die like the frozen yogurt fad before them? I won't be able to live if fast casual pizza restaurants like &pizza follow suit.

Never again:

• Chipotle
• Rainbowl
• Roots

 On the bubble:

• Cava

Still up for debate:

• sweetgreen 

Update: &pizza is "On the bubble" now that they have removed tater tots from their toppings. Blaze Pizza has overtaken them for best fast casual pizza. 

The Minimalist's Guide to Bubble Tea Update

I don't buy milk tea anymore. 1. Because I can make it at home and 2. Because I can't trust these boba shops to make it vegan. So many of them come premade with non-dairy creamer, a misnomer, as it still contains casein, a protein derived from cow's milk.

My go-to order is now Passionfruit Green Tea, which I never understood the hype for because I had literally never eaten a passionfruit before, and my favorite or top bubble tea shop is Kung Fu Tea despite what my San Diego-born bubble tea snob cousins say. Kung Fu Tea is consistent, reliable, and widely available, in addition the other plusses I mentioned in my previous story. 

Passionfruit Green Tea is passionfruit when you can't get passionfruit. It's refreshing with the perfect amount of caffeine, not too much to keep me awake, tartness, and sweetness, especially when combined with coconut nata jelly.

Update: I went to San Francisco and tried Boba Guys again. Because they are very vegan friendly, I couldn't cancel them per my last post, and I went against my first paragraph rule and bought a banana milk tea because I had a canned banana milk tea once and it was good. This one was bad. It was so bad, I asked the barista to add hojicha, thinking I made the mistake and ordered the less flavorful banana milk tea drink on the menu. She made another drink for me free of charge so I ended up having not one but two ice cold drinks to carry with me on a windy San Francisco winter day. Reader, she did not make it to her final destination with her drinks: I had no desire to drink them, and my hands were so cold, I had to throw them away, and I NEVER waste food like that. This blood orange tea from Asha was fire though.

Tea house with actual good hojicha: Matcha Cafe Maiko 

Fridays

A reminder of how much work it takes to survive
When your meal prep runs out and you have nothing to eat

Your weekend job starts
Racking your brain for recipes and
Treading to the grocery store for groceries that cost way too much

Fridays

A reminder of how lonely you are

How you live thousands of miles away from friends who don’t have time to hang out with you anyways

A reminder that sitcoms lie

Fridays

A break from routine that shatters you

Fridays

An expectation of a reward for working 40 hours that never comes

Road To Self-Acceptance by shiru

I think I always knew that I was into girls or that I was at least a bit queer and not because I fell in love with my best friend or that I enjoyed the company of women more than I did men. I think I was queer in the way I lived my life in the media I consumed, the music I listened to and the women I found inspiring. I will not deny that I found women quite stunning and beautiful to watch and listen to; however, queer things such as parades and leaps in political actions also brought such life to me. I could not understand why a star like Whitney Houston would choose to stay married to a man despite knowing the freedom that came from being with a woman. I think I primarily associate my queerness and coming out to Whitney because she provided an avenue to this freedom. I didn’t want to be like her, closeted and unable to live freely.

Euphoria and out-of-body experiences where I would oscillate between intense joy and discontent at the things I was doing characterized my teenage years, and I could not quite pinpoint why navigating this world felt so hard. If anything good came out of the harrowing lockdown that was 2020, it was the ability to sit with my thoughts and grief, an ability to understand that my ineptitude to fit in this world was not in my lack of trying. Growing up different in a churchy and homophobic society limited my ability to express my queerness, and stifling my queerness allowed me to mask my neurodivergence because if I could hide this fundamental part of me, what was a little quirks and ticks.

I realized I had ADHD when people on Twitter would describe their symptoms, and I would relate to each one of them. My neurodivergent journey began with this discovery and was then followed by the revelation that my autism masked my ADHD. This overlap between my autistic and ADHD self made it almost impossible for anyone to see my internal struggles and battles. While my ADHD makes it impossible to keep time, my autism and empathy cannot make people late; therefore I always keep time. My autism does not allow me to be messy, but my ADHD can never allow me to be a neat freak; therefore living alone has proved quite challenging, as my space constantly rotates between messy and clean. However, the most prominent dichotomy was my ADHD could never establish schedules, but once I found a routine, my autism allowed me to stick to this routine.

I cannot express how freeing both my self-diagnosis and official diagnosis was. I could finally understand why simple tasks like taking care of my hygiene were harrowing. Why I could not hold down a simple job, why I could obsessively consume media, and why I picked up and dropped hobbies on a whim. It helped me realise that there was inherently nothing wrong with me. The world was not built to accommodate the needs of those at the margins. This freed my desire to be like everyone else. I stopped seeking the centre and found a way to live and thrive in the margins. I embraced my masculinity all while honoring my femininity. I stopped applying for corporate jobs and found my niche online, all while thriving in openly queer spaces.

This discovery while freeing was also deeply unsettling, I didn’t know how to exist without masking. Feeling and knowing you are different is acutely different from knowing why you are different. It made me sad, anxious, and at times I felt out of control. I yearned to explain to my peers how it was like to be in my head: the constant chaos, the overwhelming stimuli, the inability to focus on the mundane, and the crashing feeling that what one is doing is never enough. Many like to believe autism, ADHD or other neurodivergent traits make people geniuses. While I admit there are moments where my neurodivergence has opened up a world that neurotypicality would have limited, being neurodivergent is more than simply being smart. It is an inability to prioritize deeply important things like hygiene, work deadlines, a desire to escape a loud world, and a reckless indulgence to quiet the inner turmoil and anxiety.

This is not a coming out post, but I don’t want the straights to claim me; neither is it a self-diagnosis. My official diagnosis took a lot in me and is a story for another day. I wanted to rant about how someone should have seen how much I was struggling. They should have noticed how restless and anxious I was. They should have told me my queerness was not a burden, nor was my existence outside the binary but this bigoted world. Living in the margins so long, I was so misunderstood I didn’t care to explain any more, but I felt I owed it to this milestone to try and embrace my neurodivergence and my queerness, to not feel shame around my ineptitude to navigate this world that was neither created for me nor cater to my needs, and to be able to withstand and thrive within the margins without seeking the center. Twenty five years is a long time to exist in spaces that haven’t wanted me, or wanted to know me without masking. Those who will read this and know me will wonder if I was masking around them. Yes I was, there has never been a time in my life when I wasn’t anxious or depressed or just struggling.

This is an unburdening of shame that I have been carrying for too long–shame that is not mine to bear. My thoughts are still too many. I am still typically “lazy.” My follow through sucks, and I will probably always prefer the comfort of women even when I hate all humans, but now I feel no shame. My mind is less foggy. This is to not masking and to acknowledging and loving the whole package—faulty or otherwise.

I have been sitting with myself longer than I ever have, and my thoughts have finally raced and caught up, so this is me coming to myself. This me deserves a lot more compassion than I was given or that I gave others. This is to the me that couldn’t stop daydreaming in class, to the me that couldn’t stop picking up new hobbies and dropping them, the me that enjoyed and loved women but didn’t know it was an attraction, and the me that fell in love with my straight friend, the straightest of people.