Friday, May 5, 2017

How I Became Hot Script

Hi guys! Welcome to another episode in the “How I Became” series. You can watch my first episode “How I Became Basic” and read my blog post “How I Became Antisocial” in the links below. Today, we’re talking about how I became hot. I didn’t dress up for this role because I believe confidence is a big requirement to being hot, and I am confident that I am hot without needing to dress up for it.

However, I am wearing a stereotypical hot person uniform consisting of a Victoria’s Secret ¾ zip and short athletic shorts. Speaking of athletic shorts, the only pair of athletic shorts I owned before were a pair of long basketball shorts until my guy friend, Dan, told me, “Chanhong, why don’t you wear the slutty shorts Kat wears?,” so thank you Dan and Kat for inspiring me to be hot. You’ll meet more influential people in my journey to becoming hot later in the video. Note: Please don’t ever repeat what Dan said to a girl. He is the only person on this planet who can say that.

Whenever I think of a hot transformation, I think about Manny from Degrassi. Manny decides she doesn’t want to be cute anymore, so the next day, she undoes her ponytail puts on a thong and suddenly she’s hot (completely unrealistic because all her outfits violate school dress codes), but nevertheless, I’ve been waiting for the day I become hot ever since that moment, but unfortunately in real life, it doesn’t happen that instantaneously: it takes years of hard work, confidence building, and sadly validation from others.

While Manny became hot in high school, my hot moment didn’t come until third year of college: that’s when I finally learned how to smile, part my hair, and wore contacts on a consistent basis.

I technically got contacts end of second year at the suggestion of my friend Sara, who I’ve mentioned before on this channel. All of my peers got contacts at the beginning of high school, and right after they got contacts, they immediately had boyfriends. It was magical, and I am a little ashamed to admit that part of the reason I did get contacts was to attract boys, but it obviously didn’t work because I’m still single. Seeing myself without glasses has helped me have a better self-image in the long run though aka it has tricked me into believing I’m hot which is funny because I did my senior research project on this topic in high school.

For some reason, I smiled with both my teeth during second year even though I had never done so before. It wasn’t until I read an article saying that you’re supposed to smile with the top row of your teeth that I changed the way I smiled.

I also changed the way I parted my hair in third year. Ever since I was born, my hair had been parted down the middle. I didn’t know that it was something I could change or something that could drastically change the way someone looked until college. I’d like to thank my friend Kathy for sharing this information with me. I don’t know if she actually taught me this, but I do know we have an inside joke about this and that she is #hairgoals.

Speaking of hair, I didn’t know that you had to grow bangs out in order to get rid of them. I always thought I would need to cut them off in order to get rid of them. That is until my cousin started growing her bangs out when I was in the 8th grade. I followed suit. It’s hilarious to think that my younger cousin was the first person who inspired me to be hot.

I also only recently got my first trim, and when I got it, I thought to myself, “Is this why basic bitches’ hair always look so good?!” I’ve always gotten 2-4 inches chopped off every time I go to the hair salon because the hair stylist would ask me how many inches I wanted off. As a result, I wouldn’t need a haircut for six months at a time. This was the first time someone actually listened to me when I said I wanted a trim. I’m glad I’m able to keep my long length, but I don’t like how my hair is already ratchet looking after a couple of weeks and that I have to spend money to fix it now.

In addition to changing my hair, smile, and eyes in college, I also changed my lips and by that I mean I discovered the red lip, and I’d like to give a shout out to my friend Eugenie for sporting this trend with me. I remember we went on a date once and we were both wearing red lips, and it was kind of perfect lol.

Last but not least, I have to thank my friend Julie (who along with Kathy and Eugenie) gave me my first push up bra for my 21st birthday. Little did she know that she would release the inner hottie in me i.e. I bought an extreme push up bra after that and have only bought push up bras since that moment. They also gave me thongs, which I don’t really wear because they’re hella uncomfortable, but I think it’s funny to include because that’s what Manny wore to become hot.

I bought one of my new push up bras at Victoria’s Secret, which is important to mention because I hadn’t really shopped at Victoria’s Secret until then. I still don’t really shop there and only go there to get free undies, but a whole new world of hotness was open to me once I bought a bra from Victoria’s Secret.

As I enhanced my features and gained more confidence, I also became less awkward or at least started to embrace my awkwardness, which I really think is crucial to looking hot. This is especially prominent in pictures: I’ve actually learned how to pose like a girl with my arms on my hips and have even utilized the hugging pose with my gurls once or twice.

I also started to attract boys, which is where the validation comes from, who are pedophiles and are attracted to girls who look like twelve-year-olds…and that’s the story of how I became hot. Thanks for watching!