Ear Piercing

Because I was feeling depressed, I got my second lobe piercings today, something I’ve wanted to do for the last year, and the 6-8 weeks recovery time is giving me anxiety. I can’t sleep right now because I’m a side sleeper and I’m afraid of messing everything up.

I don’t remember it being this long as a kid when I got my ears pierced not once but twice after the first one closed up.

I am dreading having to clean it twice a day yet the task was so easy for me as a child. Shouldn’t I be more competent as an adult? 

But as an adult I know too much now. I am too aware of what could go wrong, but is that a simple result of growing old or having too much access to information via the internet? Is getting your ears pierced with a gun at Claire’s or a mall stall bad if you don’t know it?  Without hearing stories about people’s piercings not healing, I wouldn’t even know it was a possibility. 

Or is it the fact that I am my sole protector now? If anything goes wrong, I have to solve the problem. The mental load to keep me alive is no longer my parents’. 

Or is because I paid for the expensive piercing myself, knowing what I know about Claire’s, so if it doesn’t heal, I have to spend more of my own money to fix it? 

Or am I just simply mentally ill now as my sister put it. Mentally ill from what? Living