Black is a good neutral color, but these sandals were silver AND gold.
I've unwillingly said goodbye to a lot of excellent pairs of shoes in the last two years including these. I got them at the kids' section (they were a Size 2 in case you're wondering) at Kmart and they lasted six years. I started wearing them after my favorite pair of silver braided sandals broke first year of college, and they have become my go-to sandals ever since. My mom yelled at me for always wearing the same raggedy shoe, but they were comfortable, stylish, and went with everything, so I wore them until they died. I also had to part ways with my navy Toms and blush flats after the New York rain destroyed them, a pair of torn white flats, and dirty cheap white sneakers I bought for $12 at H&M. Minus the white flats, those shoes went with everything.
I replaced the Toms with a new pair of floral gold ones, but I'm left with only one pair of childish black flats and a pair of uncomfortable black sandals because I sold a pair of glittery navy flats which were too big for me. I keep these around because there are no better options at the moment.
Because of the lack of dress shoes in my closet now, I'm forced to wear my nude pumps, which is a good thing, but they're so uncomfortable (I also have a pair of nude and hot pink flats, but hot pink doesn't really go well with a lot of things). As far as the other heels in my closet, I gave away the ones that weren't versatile, including a pair of navy & green pumps I started my fashion blog with. Some of them were also old, but most importantly, they weren't flexible or comfortable (I saved my wedges and a great pair of pointed low black heels because I've worn them on more than one occasion and they haven't killed me).
While it's good to give away shoes you don't wear (and not buy them in the first place), it's really sad when you're forced to throw away a pair you love because of wear and tear. Those are truly the great fashion purchases.
*Honorable mention to my tennis shoes, which I am starting to wear more because I don't care as much about how I look now*
School is in full-force now so I unfortunately haven't had time to blog :( I was also working two jobs at one point, but thankfully I quit one of them (after much back & forth with myself). I'm also not sure if teaching is the career for me, but that's a different story. Even though I've been super busy, I've still maintained my vegan diet. I still eat healthy, which I can't say I did when I was an undergrad. The difference is I don't have a social life anymore so I use that time to cook. My sister has also been a big help.
I ended my last post with DC VegFest. It was okay. The variety of food at Richmond Veg Fest was better. I think you can really see a city's food culture through events like these. The DC food scene isn't great, so the vegan food scene is going to reflect that. The DC vegan food scene consists of a lot of soul food and processed food/meat replacements, while the Richmond and Charlottesville vegan food scene consists more of ethnic whole foods. New York City also does a lot of American vegan food, but it is so much better than DC's, and I think this has a lot to do with the superiority of NYC's overall food scene.
I also don't find vegan festivals beneficial since I'm already vegan and I'm not a big socializer. My uncles love chatting people up, while my sister and I are just there for the food and free samples and. Speaking of free samples, there was a lot of vegan cheese samples, which was awesome but like I said very American and processed. I think I would get more from the experience if I was a volunteer. My sister and I also had some hot dogs and tacos, which were okay (and expensive-that's another thing to note about vegan food in DC)-should've gotten some soul food instead.
After Vegfest, we went to Loving Hut for dinner. I'm glad I ordered something instead of saving money (I would have starved later). I had the com tam bi chay (broken rice with shredded pork). I've had it before so I knew it would be good. We also tried the steak salad, which wasn't as good as the regular salad. It's funny because I really wanted to try it when I first came here with my uncle. My sister and uncles had noodle soups, which were apparently very clean and tasty. I'll have to come back to try them, especially the wonton soup my uncle got.
That same weekend, my mom visited, so she provided some much needed food. My dad's garden was thriving in bau or calabash, a gourd, so my mom brought canh bau with tofu (gourd soup) and bau kho or braised gourd with bitter melon and tofu. She also made banh hoi again because of the abundant herbs from my dad's garden. The last dish she made was stir-fry chives and bean sprouts.
After mom's food ran out, my sister made vegan clam chowder. It was pretty good. It obviously didn't taste like seafood, but it was creamy, which is something a lot of people don't think can be done with vegan food. She's been wanting to make this recipe for a while after finding it online, but we didn't have a blender.
With the leftover seaweed my sister bought to try to make the clam chowder taste more sea-like, she made sushi with cucumber, carrots, and leftover mushrooms. I'm not a huge fan of cucumber and carrot rolls, but this one wasn't bad. That same night, I made the Bow Tie dish again with tomatoes, limes, and herbs my mom left. This time, I halved the pasta knowing I didn't have enough tomatoes.
I also ate ramen with herbs-you can never go wrong with ramen when there's nothing to eat especially when you can add garnishes to it.
My sister used the rest of the herbs and bow tie to make pesto again. I think it was much better this time. We also had olive oil this time. I bought a cute little bottle from Kroger for like $3.
For snacks, I made buffalo cauliflower bites from my Thug Kitchen cookbook because cauliflower was on sale at Kroger and I was craving wings. I also made fries because I was craving them and didn't want to do my homework. They were good but too bland for me: I have a fear of over salting things.
I got finally got my salt fix from my sister's vegan Shepherd's Pie. She used leftover cauliflower stalks and celery, instead of the celery root called for in the recipe, to create the creamy mash and found the recipe online after trying to decide what to do with the beets my mom left her. It was so flavorful.
Speaking of flavor, I finally put the right amount of salt on something and flavored green beans successfully yesterday! They were on sale at Kroger so I bought them because I've always loved green beans and I rarely see them fresh in American grocery stores. I think I was helped in not having real soy sauce, which I usually use to flavor them, so I had to use a generous amount of salt, sugar, and vegetable seasoning (I also learned from past mistakes). My sister also made raspberry bars last night because the raspberries she bought weren't good so she decided to find a raspberry dessert to make with the oatmeal I had. THEY WERE SO GOOD.
As far as breakfast, I've resorted to carrying around a bag of bread and just eating it slice by slice because carbs give you energy! I've stopped eating peanut butter with the bread because it's fat, but I'll eat it on the weekends as a treat. For fruit, mom and grandma came through once again. I was disappointed in the unsweet plums my mom gave us though. Eating low quality fruit really is a bummer. My uncle spit out longan he bought from NOVA because it was not as sweet as he expected it to be. Thankfully, I have a lunch break every day so I don't starve.
Last but not least, here are the restaurant meals I ate: a Roots bowl with some new friends from a student CIO called Veggies of Virginia. I didn't expect them to be so cool, and I'm sad I haven't gotten to hang out with them more. My sister and I went to Cafe 88 last week for some fake chicken. I was hype for it, but it tasted like any old soy protein, but the vegetables on the side were on point. The curry was good too.
I unfortunately forgot to save my Snaps of the cauliflower and fries, but here are the raspberry oatmeal squares my sister posted on her new food account! There are also pictures from the actual recipes I linked.
The moral for this week: my sister and I had no idea what we wanted to cook, but we went to the grocery store and picked out what we could buy and thought about it later using Google and the staples we had in our fridge/pantry to create some very delicious food. I also cooked on multiple week days...is this what adulting is?
Update on last week's dishes: I didn't flavor the water spinach enough so it was kind of bland. I needed the secret ingredient: sweet soy sauce. I also added tomatoes to my bitter melon to dilute its strong taste. My mom usually makes bitter melon with egg and tomatoes so I just did that without the egg.
This week, I made curry, one of the easiest and cheapest vegan dishes to make. I had already bought two cans of coconut milk on sale along with a bag of yellow curry powder (cheaper than curry pastes). All I needed to add was vegetables! Here's the recipe I used this week:
Yellow Curry good enough for a week and a half
2 cans of coconut milk ($2/can at Kroger)
2 sweet potatoes
3 russet potatoes ($2/5 lb bag)
4 carrots (still from the same bag as the spaghetti)
1 onion
3 tablespoons yellow curry powder
1 tablespoon sugar
Salt for seasoning
Peel and cut vegetables. I actually hate prepping sweet potatoes because their irregular shape make them really hard to peel, and they're really hard to cut/slice, but the flavors are worth it in the end. Because my sweet potatoes were huge, I had to add an extra potato to balance out the sweet and savory.
Heat coconut milk in pot. Add 1 tablespoon of sugar (taken directly from the instructions of Thai Kitchen's Red Curry Paste lol) and 3 tablespoons of yellow curry powder (taken from an old bottle of yellow curry powder I had). Mix well. Add sweet potatoes, potatoes, and carrots. Cover and cook until tender (15-20 minutes). Add onion and season with salt, msg, or whatever. Serve with rice or vermicelli noodles.
I've also been eating a lot of free food at various events hosted by the University and its constituents. Last Friday, I went to the 7th Annual Gazpacho In the Garden hosted by the Morven Kitchen Garden. There was such much vegan friendly food! This wasn't the case at the UVA Arts Grounds Day on Saturday. There was a veggie falafel, but I don't think the BBQ chipotle sauce was vegan (I should have gotten ketchup instead). The patty was dry, and I ate a hush puppy knowing it wasn't vegan. The veggie baked beans were meh too, so I basically ate junk in terms of taste and health. I did eat some delicious vegan BBQ with avocado slaw at the Curry Picnic though.
In addition to my curry and the free food on grounds, my sister also contributed since my last post by making pesto with the leftover herbs from our mom and the avocados our grandma gave us, flatbread pizza with the leftover pesto, and quinoa with the leftover pizza ingredients. She put mushroom, kale, and onion on the pizza and added canned beets and carrots to the leftover mushroom and kale for the quinoa bowl flavored with lime and tahini from Mezeh. She kind of went overboard with the lime though, but it tastes fine to me. I ate the pesto with my leftover penne (there was definitely a lack of tomatoes), spaghetti, and a new box of cherry tomatoes. 10/10 would recommend the pizza recipe.
Last but not least, my sister and I went out to dinner on Thursday night to celebrate my new jobs and me being done with two weeks of grad school, but really we just had a $10 coupon to Maharaja that was expiring. From left to right: 1) Vegetable Kholapuri 2) Mushroom & Pea Malai 3) Baigan (Eggplant) Burtha 4) Bhindi Masala. I don't think the top two dishes aka my sister's are vegan because they were rather creamy/buttery. You can see Maharaja's menu here: http://www.maharaja-indian-restaurant.com/wine-list/ The food was on point as always.
Tata for now! I'm off to DC Vegfest, which you can read all about in my next post.
I remember thinking in 2015 how I'll never stop downloading music because I like "owning" and organizing my music. I haven't downloaded a song in more than a year. Never did I think I could have access to any song I wanted for free. There was a time when I wanted a new iPod with more storage so I could fit my entire iTunes library on it. Now there are phones with more memory than iPods. It's amazing how quickly technology has changed in my lifetime (remember floppy disks, guys?) Seeing these changes through the lens of music is pretty cool in my opinion.
Last weekend I went home solely for eating purposes: my dad's herb and salad garden is overpopulated and my mom needed my sister and I to eat.
She first prepared for us banh hoi with tofu and herbs. The Country Crock and onion dressing is to die for (literally because it's so unhealthy). I also had banh xeo with a chayote, jicama, and cabbage filling served with herbs and soy sauce. Other typical vegetarian fillings include mushrooms, tofu, or carrots. My favorite part has always been the actual crepe (misleading name because there are no eggs in a banh xeo).
In addition to these special meals, I also ate a very simple dish of fermented bean curd, cucumber, and rice. My mom mixed the bean curd with a little bit of sugar to dilute the strong fermented taste. It was actually my first time eating it, but I loved it: I was afraid of its pungency before.
Fruit (blueberries, strawberries, nectarines, mangos, plums, and bananas) was also a must have.
Along with leftovers, she sent home with us canh chua made with Chinese water spinach, basil, and bean sprouts. You can also make it with pineapple, tomatoes, and colocasia gigantea (the plant kingdom is so diverse, yet people are satisfied with only eating beef, chicken, or pork all their lives). The canh chua was super sour because she used fresh lime instead of a prepackaged canh chua seasoning, which includes seafood. I ate the canh chua with ramen, and it was so much better. The second dish she made for us to take home was stir fry chives, bean sprouts, and tofu. She also gave us bitter melon, cherry tomatoes, and more water spinach, herbs, and fruit. You can get familiar with the herbs here: http://www.vietworldkitchen.com/blog/vietnamese-herb-primer.html
Today, I simply cooked the water spinach with garlic and cut the bitter melon and cooked it with soy sauce. My mom actually made us the water spinach and stuffed the bitter melon with tofu for us our first week in Charlottesville. I used the box of cherry tomatoes (you'll actually need need two, but I just made use with what I had), basil, and mint in addition to a box of unused whole wheat penne my sister had to make a pasta dish I've made before. The recipe (Bow Ties with Tomatoes, Herbs, and Lemon) is from Good Housekeeping Favorite Recipes: Vegetarian Meals. I made it with lime instead of lemon this time because that's what my mom gave me and took out the olive oil for health reasons (we also didn't have olive oil). The oil definitely would have dispersed the salt better, but I think it tastes fine without it.
My sister contributed by baking tofu ($2 at Kroger) with a Sweet Citrus Marinade from Thug Kitchen. We didn't have ginger, so she excluded it, and she used regular vegetable oil instead of olive oil. I used the tofu as a savory component for summer rolls. I used whole wheat rice paper, the herbs, and added julienne carrots for the crunchy component. I learned from experience that all delicious summer rolls need a savory, crunchy, and herby component. Top it all off with a good dipping sauce. My go-to is peanut and hoisin. I added the chili sauce from Thug Kitchen last time for a spicy kick.
I will be eating the dishes we cooked today all week, which is why now would be a good time to mention that what I cooked in my last blog post did not last me all week (more thoughts on meal prepping here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBlaI213eNs&t=4s). I did have to supplement with tofu sausages my sister bought and hot dog buns. I cut the sausage into quarters because it was too "meaty" and ate each quarter with a bun. I had two buns per meal garnished with fresh carrot sticks for a less heavy meal.
In conclusion, the moral of this post is be creative with the food available to you. I also saw this Tweet (see below) in a Buzzfeed post, and it really speaks to how my mom has always taken care of me with food. I didn't realize how much work she put in for us to have something new to eat every other day until I started cooking for myself. My parents also don't make that much money, yet, we've always had good food to eat, which goes to show you how much creativity really does help.
Asian parents always ask their children if they've eaten yet because that's how they show love. I've always been annoyed by this question because I thought it was a stupid one: of course I've eaten, but this Tweet really puts their love in a new perspective: nobody will ever love me as much as my mom. She's literally been feeding me my whole life.
Oh, I almost forgot about dessert! My mom made this delicious silken tofu and ginger soup with coconut milk and sugar. I was lowkey cheating by eating frosted blueberry donuts she bought for my sister before she made this. Vegan desserts are usually really complicated to make because you have to make a lot of substitutions for cakes, etc., so it's really easy to cheat, but the tofu and ginger dish is really simple and easy to make. God bless Vietnamese cuisine for broadening my palette and reminding me that I can be a vegan and have my cake too (okay not literally, but I had to make this joke). I guess another moral of this story is to learn other cuisines because poor countries know how to not eat meat lol.
Fruit for this week: blueberries, avocados (courtesy of my grandma), bananas, and $0.99/lb grapes from Kroger! My grandma is retired, and she is still able to feed me. Food banks seriously need to step their game up. I can't believe the junk (hello, sheet cakes) I saw delivered to homes on A Place At The Table.
Update: I'm still a vegan. I feel the need to say this because I haven't posted any food pictures on Instagram in a while (Did it really happen if you didn't tell the whole world on social media about it?). I don't normally post food pictures for several reasons: 1. I'm way too excited to eat my food to take a picture of it. 2. Just because something looks good doesn't mean it's going to taste good, which is why I need to do a taste test first. 3. Lighting really sucks sometimes.
Because I haven't been posting any pictures of food, I feel like I've failed in showing people how to be vegan. I've been sharing snippets of vegan documentaries and books like What The Health and Proteinaholic on Snapchat, but I haven't been sharing my meals. One of my friends responded to my Snaps saying how he's more interested in how to become a vegan. He has this belief that it costs a lot of money and takes a lot of effort to be vegan, and I want to disprove that. At first, I was going to vlog how I prepare a meal from going to the grocery store to cooking it, but I'm too lazy for that, and a blog post seems easier and more my style. I might someday vlog one of my meal preps, but today, I'm going to tell you what I've cooked since moving back to Charlottesville (I've lowkey been struggling in how to show you guys what I've eaten until I thought of this idea today. My move made it the perfect time to start this series).
A couple of disclaimers first: 1. I know people are more drawn to pictures, but this series will be more text-driven like most of my work because of the reasons I mentioned in the first paragraph. 2. The name of this series was inspired by Lost Dog's Cafe Howl To Be Vegan menu, which some restaurant employees don't even know about.
Spaghetti
My sister bought some spaghetti sauce with no intention of using it (that's another story), and she had a bunch of leftover pasta lying around. Spaghetti is also a relatively simple dish to make, so the choice was obvious to make spaghetti for my first self-cooked meal in Charlottesville. I usually make spaghetti with mushrooms and onion, but mushrooms were expensive at Kroger, so I decided to replace them with carrots I had in the fridge instead. I actually prefer it over the mushrooms now. Here's the recipe:
Serves 4
Classico Spicy Tomato & Basil Pasta Sauce/your favorite pasta sauce 24 oz $1.98 (according to walmart.com)
Spaghetti $1 or $2 at your local grocery store (any type you want but I suggest whole grain)
2 garlic cloves
4 carrots (You can get a bag for a few bucks at your local grocery store)
1 onion of any kind ($2 for a bag of sweet or yellow onions)
Fresh tomatoes
Chop garlic, carrots, onion, and tomatoes to whatever size you like. Heat up some oil (this is an unhealthy step that I will try to avoid in the future). Add the garlic and cook until brown. Add carrots and onion. Cook for 10 minutes or whenever you feel is adequate. Season with salt, oregano, and whatever seasoning you like. Stir in pasta sauce and fresh tomatoes, and cook until the carrots are soft enough for your liking. Add more seasoning if necessary. Cook pasta separately. Enjoy.
Cucumber, Tomato & Hummus Sandwich
My mom gave me some cucumbers and tomatoes from my dad's garden, and before I didn't know what to do with them. Then, I saw a hummus sandwich on a restaurant menu. The rest is history jk this story's a little more complicated because I needed hummus but wasn't going to spend the money (it's expensive) on it at when I've thrown away the last two or three hummuses? I've bought at the grocery store. Because my sister had a can of cannellini beans left over, I told myself I would just make my own because a girl in one of my fourth year seminars brought in some homemade white bean hummus one time, and it was banging. The only problem? I didn't have a blender. I was about to give up, but then I was like eff it-I'm just going to make a "deconstructed hummus" and see how it goes. I also didn't buy tahini because that shit's expensive, but I did have leftover sesame seeds, which I had to use whole too.
Serves ? idk I'm still eating it
1 can of white beans ($0.99 max)
1 lemon (I bought one for $0.79, but you can get one cheaper)
2 tablespoons of sesame seeds
1 garlic clove
1 cucumber
5-6 tiny tomatoes (or 1 big tomato)
Bread (I'm using 6 pita pockets aka pita halves, which I got for $2.50 at Kroger).
Rinse and mash beans. Add sesame seeds and mix. Squeeze in juice from lemon and mix again. Make the garlic clove into tiny pieces somehow and add them as well. Mash and mix some more. Maybe season with salt (I don't remember if I did or not). Toast bread. Spread hummus mixture on bread or inside pita. Add some slices of cucumber and tomatoes, and enjoy.
This ended up being pretty tasty. If you recreate this recipe and it doesn't taste good, then I probably left out an ingredient in these instructions. I've also been eating the hummus with some of my sister's leftover sesame rice crackers, which complement the sesame seeds in the hummus really well.
Breakfast & Dessert
Donut from Moon Maiden
For breakfast, I've been eating my sister's leftover almond butter, which she got for free, with whole wheat bread, and for dessert, I eat fruit. This week, I got bananas and two packages of strawberries for only $3, the special deal at Kroger this week so fruit can absolutely be affordable.
That's all for now! I hope you guys enjoyed. Let's see if I can keep this up, but in the meantime, here's a picture of an okay donut I got at the Farmer's Market yesterday. In addition to being vegan, it was also gluten free, which is probably why it didn't taste that good (it was super dense). It was also $5, so it was definitely a treat.
Edit: A previous version of this blog forgot to include fresh tomatoes in the spaghetti recipe.
In the middle of my sister's graduation a month ago, my dad blurted out that my uncle, who I call Chu Ut, was dying and that he only had two months to live. After suffering an accidental fall, he was taken to the hospital, where it was discovered that he had liver and lung cancer with only 4-8 weeks left to live. My dad told my mom, sister, and I not to worry.
A week later, my dad and I made plans to go to see him in San Diego. My dad hadn’t seen him in 23 years, and I only met him once at his wedding when I was 10 months old: it’s funny how it takes a death to bring everyone together. My dad was afraid of going by himself because of his old age, bad hearing, and spotty English, so I volunteered to go with him. We forgot to include my sister in the conversation. Thankfully, my mom, the great planner that she is, made us include my sister in the trip. I didn’t include her because I thought she didn’t like hanging out with my dad. I’m so glad my mom intervened. Otherwise, I would have been super lonely.
Booking tickets was a struggle because I wanted to spend as little money as possible. As a result, I only looked at the prices and completely disregarded the times. I had to cancel the flight I purchased because we would be wasting an entire day if we flew Friday afternoon. I went into panic mode, and luckily my sister took over and rebooked the flights with her prior flying experience.
Two days before our flight, my cousin Brian texted me saying that our uncle had only three days to live. He died later that night. Mom was worried we wouldn’t be able to see him before he passed. She’s more heartbroken by his death than her own grandmother’s death because he died so young. We joke that he was afraid of my dad yelling at him. My sister never got to meet him. I never got to apologize to him for unfriending him on Facebook because I thought it was creepy how he told my dad I was pretty or for never calling him back on Facebook messenger after he called me countless times (I just don’t like it when people call me on Facebook because I’m not sure if it’s a video or voice call). I regret not trying to get to know him. My cousins say he was a good uncle and role model. Although if I had known he was a life long alcoholic and smoker, I would have realized his mortality and made more of an effort to get to know him. Years ago when they were roommates, my dad remembers going to sleep, seeing my uncle with a six-pack, waking up, and the six-pack being gone. Thankfully my dad is only a social drinker, but my uncle needed alcohol to sleep.
I think I last spoke to him on my birthday when my dad called all his siblings in America and wished them a Happy Thanksgiving and subsequently asked them to wish me Happy Birthday because Thanksgiving was the same day as my birthday. I’m not 100% sure if I did talk to him though. If I did, then he sounded perfectly healthy. No one expected he would be dead seven months later: the youngest of seven children, dead before his own mother, and leaving a twenty-year old son to fend for himself.
The day before our flight we learned that his funeral would be three days after our last day in San Diego. It would be too much for my dad and I to request extra time off. We couldn’t believe we would miss him alive and dead, but luckily, we were able to say our good-byes at a fee of $145 to see him early on our last day in California.
Uncle was dead, but there was no use in crying. There was nothing we could do now except enjoy our trip to my dad’s American homeland.
We made it through security just before our boarding time at the airport. My anxious self would not risk going any later. From Greensboro, we flew to Charlotte, where we would board our flight to San Diego. We had to trek through the whole airport to get to our gate, so again, I was afraid we were going to miss our flight. Because we got last minute tickets, we all got middle seats. Luckily, my dad had an empty seat next to him, so I was able to sit with him on the five-hour flight.
I bought him food on the flight, but he didn’t hear me tell him we had to buy it, so he chose an $8 croissant sandwich, which according to my sister was stale and not good. Oh well—I didn’t want him to starve. I worry about him a lot.
Brian and another one of my cousins, Kevin, picked us up from the airport along with my dad’s sister (Co Ngoc). We hugged, but it was kind of awkward because we had never met before. We were in a van so it was not very conducive for conversation between the front and very back seats, so it would take a while for us to get to know each other. I had expected to connect with everyone instantly even though my sister and I had never met these cousins, and again, I had only met my aunt once when I was 10 months old. As a result, I didn’t know at first whether it was my dad’s sister or sister-in-law (Thim 6) in the car.
Once at my other uncle’s house (Chu 6’s house), we ate some vegan banh canh Co Ngoc made. I’ve never liked banh canh, but this one was really good. I had it again the next morning. Then, we rested, but my sister and I were ready to explore! But the old Viet people were worried about our health and wanted us to chill the Cali way. Brian aka our only ride had to pick up a friend, so we waited and waited until finally they came home and took us somewhere! That somewhere was a mall -_- womp not what I had expected.
I admit the Forever21 was nice: it had areas I’d never seen before in a Forever21 like the lifestyle section, and I did finally get an off the shoulder top, but I was a little disappointed we went to a mall. We spent the majority of our time in Forever because the store was huge. As a result, my sister and I would ditch everyone and do our own thing in the store because it was still a little awkward between the cousins and us (by this time, Kevin’s sister, Angie, and Brian’s friend, Tammy, had joined us). The awkwardness started to subside when we left Forever and went to Starbucks, where I interrogated Kevin and asked him a little about his education, etc.
After a long discussion of where to go next #indecisiveasians, we settled on La Jolla Cove because it was on my list. The locals didn’t really want to go anywhere because they were afraid of traffic. There was indeed traffic, but it wasn’t that bad. We saw some sea lions. My sister and I walked down to the beach, and my cousins were attacked by a sea lion. We spent way too much time there for my liking, but we did leave eventually. Our next destination? 85C Bakery.
On the way there, Angie and Tammy asked my sister and I about our hobbies and we got to know a little about them. My sister and I didn’t realize what we did on a normal basis counted as hobbies, so we compiled a list on our respective phones for future conversations. Brian bought everyone drinks and pastries (minus me, of course, because I’m vegan), but he did offer to buy me my shirt at Forever. He’s such a good Anh/Em. Dad’s family is definitely nicer than mom’s.
I learned more about Angie, Tammy, and Brian at 85C, while we waited to pick up Kevin’s twin brother, Andy, from a bus stop. He goes to school in San Francisco, so he also didn’t get to say bye to Uncle.
The next morning, our cousins went to a friend’s graduation, which my dad was going to force us to go to, but my sister and I vetoed and said, “We got it.” This was our only day exploring the city alone. We went to the Science Museum at Balboa Park and got vegan donuts at Nomad Donuts beforehand (we didn’t tell dad about the donuts, so we technically lied when he asked us if we were at the park yet, and we said yes). My dad called in the middle of our museum trip worrying about us and telling us to come home early, which really irked me. I also got my period at the same time, which intensified my emotions. As a result, I became really cranky until I took two Advils and ate. I don’t know what I would have done if my sister didn’t have a bottle of Advil or if the museum didn’t have “feminine tissues” aka a pad dispenser.
The museum was kind of meh—a lot of thinga ma bobs were broken, but the IMAX movie about civil engineering made it worthwhile. My sister also made her own fidget spinner, but we missed all the cool temporary exhibits.
Next, we went to one of the few free attractions at Balboa, the House of Pacific Relations, featuring “19 cottages and the Hall of Nations representing 34 nations exhibiting culture, traditions, and history.” I was really excited to see this, but then I realized why it was free: it was very underwhelming. I thought that once we walked into these cottages, we would be instantly transported to the country we were in, but it was just an American “house” with relics from the foreign country we were in.
The gift shop at the “United Nations” was way better. That’s when my sour mood started to subside, but unfortunately, I was getting hungry and it was getting late, and I’m a daddy’s girl who listens to her dad, so we left Balboa without fully exploring it to go get food at the last place on my list, Civico 1845, an Italian restaurant with vegan options in Little Italy/Downtown San Diego.
Service was really slow like Yelp said, but the food was good and we received our check at a decent time after finishing our meal. But because of our curfew, we went home right after and didn’t get to explore Little Italy. Yet, when we got home, my dad was nowhere to be found. The hypocrisy and double standard was real.
We rested, went to my dad’s friend’s house to be introduced to his friends, and went back home. We didn’t go anywhere else because it’d be awkward to leave again. For the rest of the day, my sister and I slept, showered, and ate banh mi way past dinnertime. I ate mine with bi chay provided by the temple Thim 6 goes to.
In the morning, I had vegan heo quay (also provided by the temple), banh hoi, and veggies for breakfast. Then, Brian, Andy, my sister, and I went to the mall again—this time to go to other stores—while we waited for Ba Co, dad’s aunt on his dad’s side, to come down from LA. My sister got crop tops; Brian got a smoothie, and I got a pretzel, so it wasn’t a total fail (we have all these stores in NOVA). Ba Co didn’t end up coming even though the whole day was planned for her and because she told us so late, we couldn’t drive to LA ourselves to see her.
I spent the rest of the day finishing my sister’s leftovers from Native Foods because for some reason, I wasn’t really hungry.
The rest of the time was spent hanging out, talking, and playing 13 (Tiáșżn LĂȘn) (I’m sure there was a nap in there somewhere). I learned on this trip that Californians call stuff differently from us East Coasters like how Chandelier/Stack Cup is Rage Cage and 13 is Killer. Kings also has different rules on the west coast. It was very interesting. And they don’t drink cider. Yet, they name their kids, Jefferson and Thomas. Those are the names of the kids Thim 6 babysits. Small world, right? Anyways, we taught them how to play 13. Learning how to play Tiáșżn LĂȘn is like an unofficial rite of passage into adulthood in Vietnamese culture. I’m making this up, but knowing how to play an adult gambling game is pretty cool.
I also bonded as best I could with Anthony, late uncle’s son. I tried but failed at beating him in Tetris. I met him the first day, but he really wasn’t in a talking mood. My sister and I also helped him access his dad’s bank account. Brian joked that the torch as the family translator had been passed from him to us.
I feel so bad for Anthony though. He’s like the little brother I never had. I hurt for him, and I feel like he has issues, but then again, I shouldn't judge him on the one time I see him after his father’s death—anyone would be messed up after a tragic event like that.
The day ended with late night munchies, which Angie bought on her way home from work (Angie, Brian, and I all work at sushi restaurants lol), and family stories like how Chu 6 was the slowest of the siblings and how everyone in the family was a pimp. I clearly did not inherit this from my dad.
I started my last day in Cali with a banh mi, and we finally got to see Chu Ut at the funeral home. My mom was afraid he would be in a morgue so she didn’t want my sister and I to see him and be scared, but thankfully, he was in a homey visitation room, so we all got to see him. My sister didn’t go close to him though. The nice Vietnamese translator lit incense so we could pay our respects. I apologized for unfriending him, and my dad’s heart beat rapidly, as he would later recall to his friends.
Then, we were treated to lunch by my dad’s friend, whose son, Michael, we met our first night in San Diego (he brought every non-vegan tacos). It was also at his graduation party from UCSD where my sister and I met all of my dad’s friends. The Thai place my dad’s friend chose was closed, so we went to a buffet his family used to go to all the time. It was my dad’s friend and his three children: Michael, Josephine, and Danny, who were all younger than me. Everyone was shocked to hear I was almost 25 though. I surprisingly ate a lot, as there were actually a lot of vegan options. I ate more than my dad. It was stunning. I even cleaned up the smallest bits of lo mein.
After lunch, my sister and I napped until it was time to go to Chu Ut’s apartment to help clean up and get rid of his belongings. His ex-wife, who came back to take care of him, wanted to move ASAP because she was afraid of his ghost. Anthony didn’t want to leave though. My mom just told me they’re planning to live there now, which is ridiculous considering how we threw almost everything away. I wasn’t really much help, but I just wanted to go to get to know my uncle by seeing how he lived, and he lived by drinking a lot of Sunny D. Anthony got mad because he couldn’t find something after we left. I hope he found it.
For dinner, I ate fried rice, another delicious meal cooked by Co Ngoc. Chu 6 took my dad, sister, and I for another 85C run because my sister is a momma’s girl and wanted to get my mom pastries as requested. My sister also took family pictures for my mom literally minutes before we left. Again, thank you mom because without you, we wouldn’t have any family pictures. At home, we chilled and played more 13 until it was time for us to leave. And just like that, we were on our way home.
Our flight to Charlotte was a red-eye flight so it wasn’t a big deal that we were separated on the plane—we could just sleep through it. Although I was really sleepy and kept yawning, I couldn’t fall asleep right way, which was kind of annoying. Even though it didn’t feel like I slept a lot, the next thing I knew, we were landing. In Charlotte, we finally had a long layover where I could relax after our first family vacation in 10 years and get a peanut butter cinnamon bagel from Einstein’s.
For a full review of the restaurants I visited, visit my Yelp page.
