Saturday, April 22, 2017

All Asian Guys Look Alike: My Love Letter to Kelvin Yu

All Asian guys look alike. I can say this because I’m Asian, and because I’m talking about the existence of attractive Asian guys (I'm looking at you, Steve Harvey). I was rewatching Master of None the other day, and once again I had the hots for Brian, Aziz Ansari’s character’s friend. I’ve found Kelvin Yu, the actor who plays Brian, very attractive since I first laid eyes on him, but I kind of forgot about him for real life crushes. When I saw him again, I was like holy shit he looks exactly like my ex. No wonder I couldn’t get over him: he looks like a famous person!!!!

I also realized while dating my ex that he kind of looks like one of my college friends, which was kind of awkward and hilarious at the same time because I along with some of my other friends signed a contract with this friend saying that if we were single in 15 years, one of us would marry him, but in reality none of us have seriously thought about dating him because he used to date someone in our peer group.

I was a little creeped out, but I came to realize that it makes a lot of sense actually because Kelvin Yu, my ex, and friend are all Taiwanese. I don’t have time to give you a history lesson, but modern day Taiwan is less than a hundred years old, and the gene pool there is really small. As a result, my ex is the exact replica of his father, who I stalked on the Internet, and the boyfriend of another girl I went to college with. I’m reminded of his little arrogant smirk every time this girl posts a picture of her boyfriend on Instagram. And once in a while when I’m swiping through Asian guys on dating apps, I’ll find someone who reminds me of another guy I’ve seen before—even if they’re not Taiwanese. I can’t explain this phenomenon for non-Taiwanese guys (maybe for survival reasons, we look for similarities in new faces), but it’s very obvious I have a type.

P.S. Kelvin Yu is actually a lot better looking, socially aware, creative, and a lot older, so probably a lot more mature, than my ex. This is actually a love letter to him. Please marry me, Kelvin Yu.

Edit: All boys look alike: I just saw similarities between a Taiwanese guy and a Bolivian guy.